Hold My Hand Harder
by ProfessorHojotheGEN-I-US
Summary: Kaku x Lucci, Paulie x Lucci. When Kaku starts to realize that he may have more feelings for Rob Lucci than he'd like to admit, will he eventually give into them and embrace it or fight against it?
1. Blueno's Bar

A/N: Ok, I just couldn't resist any longer. I had to write a Kaku x Lucci story, I simply _had_ to. Also, I personally don't think that CP9 gets enough love either.

_--- Told from Kaku's POV_

Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters all belong to Eiichiro Oda.

Rating: T (Will go up in the future)

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

Hold My Hand Harder

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

It wasn't something that was particularly uncommon; no, in fact, this kind of thing happened quite a bit. Whenever Paulie was feeling especially generous with his earnings after a successful night of gambling, or when Iceburg would feel it appropriate to take his foreman out for a drink after a hard day's work, the few lucky members of Dock 1 would make their way down to Blueno's bar for a drink and a night of relaxation.

So, no, this wasn't a special night.

It also wasn't uncommon for a few of the foreman to get a little tipsy. I usually wasn't one of those few considering I was just barely above the drinking age and didn't really enjoy the taste of hard liquor anyway. Paulie, on the other hand, was prone to becoming quite drunk after about just a half an hour. Frequently, he'd end up getting so drunk that one of us would have to lug him home while he leaned heavily on the poor foreman's shoulder, breathing his thick alcohol laden breath in the man's face.

But … well, that was just Paulie. And, the next day, he'd return to his normal self and go about business as usual.

And like I mentioned before, this wasn't a particularly special night; so, like clockwork, about forty five minutes or so after beginning our celebratory gathering, Paulie was loud, laughing, dancing on tables, and … drunk.

I must admit, it did seem rather disgraceful to me. Getting so drunk that you completely lose yourself; it sure doesn't hold much appeal for me. Though it was amusing to hear Paulie's rendition of "I Will Survive," knowing that I was probably going to be the one who would have to take the man home, I was becoming increasingly less pleased. And he was probably aware of that in the back of his mind, but I doubt he was listening to reason currently.

And the reason I assumed I would be the one who would be lugging the foreman back to his place? Well, a quick sweep of the bar left me with an uncomfortable assurance that all the other foreman were well on their way to becoming just as drunk as Paulie.

Yet as seemingly normal as this night was going, there was one element that was extremely off. It was the kind of thing that rarely happened, so, when it did, I wasn't sure whether to be intrigued by this or slightly mortified.

Rob Lucci: My leader, my team mate, my fellow member of the most elite government organization CP9 … was drunk.

And not just a little drunk like he had merely had a few drinks, which wasn't uncommon as it were, but for Rob Lucci to be drunk _drunk_ … it was odd. It actually wasn't a rare circumstance for Lucci to take a few men home as well. Hoisting them over his shoulder, giving me a silent goodbye as we parted, he would make his way into the darkness as one of the foreman told him an extremely unfunny joke and cackle madly in his face until I could hear the unmistakable sound of the drunkard releasing his stomach contents and wondering why Lucci wouldn't just kill them and be done with it. He was prone to do things like that.

But tonight it looked as if he'd be the one that needed someone to help him home.

Now, he was nowhere near as drunk as Paulie was. Because it was damn near impossible to be so without opening one's mouth. And Rob Lucci, even while drunk, kept his mouth quiet. Showing that even though his mind was probably hazing over and altering his judgment, he was still dedicated to our mission.

However unbelievable _that_ was currently.

I could tell he was drunk by the way his face was flushed. An unmistakable red tint covered his cheeks and his eyes seemed so far away like he was in a completely different world. Hattori, I noticed, seemed to become irritated perching on his master's shoulder and shifted his feet nervously back and forth. Also, the way he would sway when he walked around from bar front to chair was another obvious indication.

Paulie noticed this change in Rob too, apparently, because he gave a very loud cry and exclaimed, "Well, I'll be damned! Rob Lucci: Drunk? Who ever thought that _that_ was possible?" And when he sauntered over and swung his arm over Lucci's shoulder, and Rob swatted idly at the dangling appendage but didn't do much in the way of trying to fend off the other drunk man, I could tell that he really hadn't been too offended by Paulie's exclamation.

The other residents of the bar seemed equally as amused. The lot of them taunted Lucci much in the same way Paulie had. Now, I knew, as well as everyone else, that it was all in good fun. After all, we _are_ like a family. And I guess I wasn't the only one who thought that this might be a one-time thing.

"Guess we better get one of _us_ to take Lucci home instead!" Lulu remarked, setting his beer stein loudly on the wooden table.

"I'm sure Hattori can help him home safely!" Tilestone boomed loudly, eyes cheery and causing the bar to erupt into explosive laughter. I even chuckled softly at the thought of Hattori trying to direct Rob all the way home with squawks and tweets.

Even still, Rob kept his usual, calm, and slightly drunk composure and sat collectedly, downing another drink.

Never having seen Rob drunk before, I wasn't sure what to expect. Was he a mean drunk? Sad drunk? A combination of both? I really didn't want to find out. I was just hoping for this evening to end relatively early so everyone could just get on home without anything too compromising happening. Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky.

The next thing I saw made me do a double take. It was one of those times where something happens that _really_ shouldn't be happening. Currently, and I don't know how the situation came about, but Rob was lying on one of the bar counters, shirt pulled up nearly exposing everything, as Paulie poured a drink on him and started licking up what he could. The liquid pouring lazily down Lucci's stomach and around his hips, Paulie's tongue worked quickly as it worked over muscle and skin.

I was shocked. And the whole bar too, it seemed. However, since they were in an extreme state of drunkenness, their hoots and hollers alerted to me that they found this quite entertaining. Everyone laughed and pumped their fists in the air for more alcohol for Paulie to lap up.

Horrified, I looked quickly over to Blueno, wondering if anything should be done about this situation. Returning my look with an extreme amount of passiveness, Blueno shook his head slightly and poured the men another drink.

The merriment only seemed to get louder as I went over in my head exactly what was going on. It was so unreal. I could never believe Rob Lucci to let his guard down so much in front of these people, almost family or not. But then there was a collective, "Ooh!!" let out from the group. I turned my head quickly to try to catch a glimpse of the situation.

His hands curled dangerously into Paulie's coat, face curled in a slight snarl, symbolizing to me that, whatever Paulie was doing, he had gone too far. Noticing that Lucci's pants were unzipped and pulled down a little under his hips, I had a good idea of what I had missed.

To think that Paulie was so promiscuous.

I had never considered the man homosexual, yet I never thought he really had a thing for the ladies either. I guess, to me, Paulie was just Paulie. A man scared of no trousers and who, at the very least, had an unhealthy thing for Iceburg. But an altered state of mind can make people do strange things.

So was Lucci really as drunk as I perceived him to be? I thought not, at first. If he was aware enough to stop Paulie's wandering hands, then surely he was aware enough to realize the situation he was in. But, when the snarl was unfurled and the fists unclenched, Paulie was suddenly flipped over by Lucci as he assaulted his stomach in much the same way his was. It was an embarrassing scene.

Walking over to the bar, I sat down far from the commotion and decided that I would chat with Blueno for awhile. _If_ I could get the man to chat, that was.

**-xox-**

It wasn't hard, surprisingly. After trying to break the ice with stupid opening conversation topics such as, "So, how about them Yankees?" and "Great day today, isn't it?" Blueno let me know quite sternly to stop being moronic and talk to him like we hadn't just met.

And his point was clearly taken.

It had seemed like I had forgotten all about what was going on around me. Blueno was surprisingly up-to-date with a lot of the gossip. Of course, that _is_ kind of the point of him being trapped in this tiny bar day in and day out. And after gathering all I could, it seemed like our mission was at a slight stand still. Iceburg wasn't revealing anything too surprising, so I guess we would just have to put it together.

The conversation continued on for some time. And the element that ended the conversation was the sudden intrusion of flapping wings and then the tiny scratching of little talons scrapping on the wooded table beside me. Flipping around in my chair, I saw Hattori perching over a small bowl of peanuts, nibbling on a few.

Looking perplexed that Hattori was alone, I threw Blueno a confused glance that he acknowledged with a shrug of his shoulders as he turned to refill another glass.

"Hattori," I began, turning to the pigeon, "Where's Rob?" The question was surprisingly quiet, like I was afraid to scare the small bird. Of course, if he had lived with Lucci all these years and hadn't been scared away yet, I doubt he would've been scared of me.

The bird, for his part, flicked his head quickly from side to side, and ruffled his feathers. This obviously got me nowhere. Giving a loud sigh and slumping back into the bar stool, I responded, "Yeah, that helped."

But Hattori just looked at me and went back on his way to eat a little more.

Deciding to find Rob Lucci myself, I looked around the bar, figuring that Hattori must've gotten hungry and didn't want to wait while Rob and Paulie drank shots off of each other's stomachs. And when I didn't see him, I felt utterly confused. He would never leave Hattori, would he? Of course not. To my knowledge, Hattori was the only thing that Lucci even remotely cared for.

My thoughts were quickly quieted, however, when I realized that all the alcohol I had drunk finally caught up to me. There was plenty of time to find Rob _after_ I relieved myself.

So, standing up, I pushed my bar stool in and walked swiftly over to where the bathrooms were, noticing as I went that the bar seemed to be just as lively as when we had first gotten here.

Oi. We were never going to leave here at this rate.

**-xox-**

Walking down the long hallway that lead to the bathroom, I reached the door and flung it open without haste. However, to my surprise, it was already quite occupied.

Paulie had Rob Lucci in an interesting embrace. Shirt pulled completely off, Lucci's garment was currently being used to tie his hands behind his back. Not only that, but his pants were pulled down to his ankles, erection clearly showing through his sheer boxers. Paulie was leaning close to Rob's face, jacket discarded off to the side, one hand yanking Lucci's hair, causing his head to tip back, exposing his neck. The other hand, however, held tightly to that head, keeping it in place for whatever it was he planning to do. Lucci's body leaned heavily against the wall while one of Paulie knees was pressed roughly onto Rob's genital region.

But the most vivid image of them all was the look on Rob's face. Lips puffy, cheeks a fiery red, his mouth was open just enough where I could catch a glimpse of those extremely white teeth. Saliva, as I could see, ran down from the corner of his mouth. His hair was matted to his forehead because of sweat, his face also showing signs of the extreme heat. However, it was his eyes that really caught my attention. Sharp, piercing, and extremely alert. They seemed to promise death and, yet, hold a little bit of something else that I just couldn't read. The green of his iris seemed to glow in the darkness of the tiny bathroom, pupils almost feline. And, there they were, looking at me. Glaring, but not by any means too angry. In fact, it was as if they were trying to tell me something else.

And maybe I could've figured out what that something was if … I hadn't ran from the bathroom as quickly as I had entered.

Stumbling down the hallway, I held on tightly to the dark, wooden wall and breathed heavily. I don't know how I had lost this much breath, it wasn't like I had run that far, but the feeling I was experiencing was just so hard to describe. But my breath tore through me, causing my lungs to hurt and my throat to start feeling raw. I couldn't hear anything besides my own heart thumping loudly in my ears, louder and louder and causing me to breathe faster and faster.

What was wrong with me? I knew people did things like that. Made-out in dark places so that no one would be aware of their activities. So … what the hell? And I thought about it, thought about the whole predicament, and then to those eyes. They just seemed to keep flashing back and forth through my mind. And my whole world was spinning faster, and I thought back to those lips, and the way his hair was being pulled so tightly, and to the way Paulie was pressed so seductively into Rob.

Then, all of a sudden, I was slammed back into a harsh reality as I felt hands grasping onto my shoulders and shaking me quickly.

**-xox-**

"Kaku! _Kaku!_ Snap out of it, alright?!"

"Pa-Paulie?" I asked, blinking my eyes rapidly, trying to identify if the man I was talking to really was who I assumed it to be.

"Oh, thank _God_," Paulie breathed, releasing me and whipping a hand across his forehead, "You were freaking me out."

Shaking my head a little, I supposed that Paulie had followed me after I had went running from the bathroom without a word. And noticing his disheveled state, I figured I wasn't too far off. "Sorry to have interrupted."

"Aw, hell," Paulie said, snorting a bit, "You didn't interrupt anything, ok? We were just, uh …"

I looked at Paulie, wondering how in the word he was trying to lie his way out of something I had clearly seen. Paulie seemed to understand my skepticism, because he gave a long sigh and, running a hand through his messy hair, continued, "All right, all right. So you _know_ what you saw, but it's not how it looks!"

I couldn't image what else it could possibly look like, but I waited for Paulie to continue. When he didn't, I motioned my hands for him to continue and asked, "And?"

"And what?"

"What do you mean what? It most certainly looked like you two were about to engage in sexual intercourse. However, if I'm wrong and you merely showing him the inner workings of the bathroom with your tongue, then please: Correct me."

"I, uh … well … you _see_," Paulie stammered with no available excuse, "I mean, ok, so we might've been fooling around a bit, but it doesn't mean I was gonna have sex with the guy."

Paulie's speech was still incredibly slurred, so I decided I'd blame this incident more on the alcohol more than anything else. And even when Paulie begged me not to tell anyone or even mention what I had seen at all, I agreed. Rather reluctantly, I must admit.

One thing that I found particularly curious was Lucci's behavior during all this. He seemed stoic, almost completely aware, and I temporarily forgot that he was drunk too. His eyes, those same ones that had pierced my soul in the bathroom, were much less threatening now. And I remember thinking to myself, "I wonder if Paulie was scared of those eyes."

**-xox-**

After continuous promises to Paulie that I wouldn't tell anyone what had happened, or, rather, almost happened, he finally let me leave the small, dark hallway and enter back into the main part of the bar.

When everyone else had noticed us, they lifted their heads, stopped what they were doing, and Lulu asked, "Where the hell did you guys go?"

"We were checking out the lovely decorations in the bathroom. Kudos, Blueno." I tried to make it as inconspicuous as possible by giving a cheery smile and urging Paulie to do the same by elbowing him roughly in the side.

"Yeah, yeah," Paulie laughed, after letting out a raspy cry, "The bathroom! Great, uh, paint job you got goin' on in there, Blueno!"

Blueno shot us a look of pure suspicion, but, apparently, decided that it would be best if he just dropped it. And everyone else seemed satisfied, so I guess our stupid little lie worked.

Keeping an eye on Lucci, I made my way over to Blueno and sat down in one of the stools to chat with him some more. But, this time, I wanted to pry a little.

"So, you like paint, huh?" Blueno asked, causing my cheeks to become rosy slightly as it seemed he saw through the lie like I knew he would. I mean, come on, the man isn't stupid.

"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, noticing Rob sit down at the same table where Hattori was eating, sipping on the drink he had left behind, and then turned my complete attention back to Blueno. "Ok, so …"

"This has happened before."

The response was out before I had time to even realize that I was asking a question. "What?"

"This has happened before," Blueno repeated, "Rob Lucci has been the way I think at least one time previous. Of course, he wasn't nearly as …"

"Sexy," I offered, twirling my finger idly around a glass rim.

"Uh, sexy?"

"I mean … !! Uh, not sexy, sexually deviant!" Now where had that come from? Did I seriously just call Rob Lucci sexy? I mean, it was hard _not_ to admit that the man wasn't attractive. But sexy? Surely that must have been a slip of the tongue. Clearing my throat, I repeated, "Sexually deviant. He's never been so sexually deviant."

"Oh no," Blueno responded calmly, "Rob Lucci's extremely sexual. I'm surprised you haven't noticed working with him as much as you do. What I meant to say was aggressive."

"Aggressive? How so?"

"Well you saw the way he interacted with Paulie. Usually, he keeps to himself in these kinds of situations."

"But it looked to me like the other foreman had never seen him drunk, either," I pursued, hoping to get some explanation for Lucci's random behavior.

"He hides it well," Blueno's sentence ended, extremely vague.

"Apparently so," I agreed, flipping around to gain a better perspective of the bar.

"What happened in the bathroom, Kaku?"

The way the question was asked seemed overly intrusive and slightly on edge. I wasn't sure why or where this sudden emotion had come from, but, when I flipped around and looked into Blueno's eyes, I simply responded, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

A frustrated sigh escaped Blueno's closed lips, eyes closing in what seemed to be defeat. "Fine. Bar's closing soon. Round everyone up and tell them, ok?"

**-xox-**

I had been stuck with the incredibly unlucky privilege of getting to take Rob home. Not that I didn't enjoy the company of a seemingly mute man, but after the awkward situation earlier, I really just wanted to crawl into bed and not get out of it for about a week.

He had insisted on needing no help and staggered lazily in front of me, clearly symbolizing that he was going to fall over at any minute. And as much as I hated to disobey an order from my leader on this mission, I decided that I'd rather be yelled at than have to report why Rob Lucci had accidently cracked his head open and went falling into the water, only to drown, all because he wouldn't let me carry his drunken body back to bed.

So, slipping an arm around his waist, I was met with surprisingly no resistance. In fact, and this might just be my imagination, but it seemed as if Lucci had leaned more into my body, letting himself rest a little. Of course, he did tense up at my touch, which scared me for a bit.

His breath was warm on my neck almost tickling me as we walked. And the evenness of his breathing was almost evident that the man was sleeping. But I knew that couldn't be true. His feet still carried him most of the way and I just felt a sense of alertness about him. He was surprisingly light. As my fingers ran accidently against his side, I could feel is muscles move and contract. His hair blended with the night and the indication of where it was happened when the wind swept it against my face and neck.

He truly was an attractive man. And my thoughts immediately went back to the word I had used in the bar: Sexy. Did I really think this man was sexy? It felt like it. The way I was describing his body to myself, the way my stomach fluttered as I brushed against his skin accidently every now and then, and the way I felt after seeing him like that in the bathroom. But surely it was the small amount of alcohol talking.

I was blaming many things on alcohol this evening.

**-xox-**

After gathering how to get to Lucci's place based on Hattori's directions, it was a little after two in the morning. Stepping into his small apartment, I realized how unlived in this place looked.

There was a small kitchenette, a bathroom, a bedroom, and one very tiny living room. The walls were bare and the only noticeable "decoration" was the long, draping curtains that covered each window. Also, a small couch sat in the corner, but there was no TV and no other furnishings.

Passing the kitchen, I noticed a small table with a chair, a refrigerator, cabinets, and the regular kitchen items. His bathroom was just as unfurnished, and, in his bedroom, was a bed, a closet, and bird cage.

And that was it. His living arraignments were so painfully simple, that it would be hard to believe that this man was actually a high ranking government member. Even as unfurnished and simple as my place was, at least it looked like a home.

I felt a little sad in this place. And, in return, it made me feel the same for Rob. To think that this is what he came home to everyday. Not even all the clothes had been removed from a suitcase that was stuck neatly in the corner. It was a good thing he had Hattori to keep him company, at least.

His body shifting beside me, I realized that while I was standing, starring and gawking at the strange living habits, Rob was beginning to become annoyed at our contact. Especially when he was where he needed to be and didn't need my help anymore. However, not quite wanting to let go yet, I sat Lucci down on the bed and sat down beside him for a quick rest.

Hattori immediately flew off to his bird cage to, I expect, go to sleep. A good idea.

"Well," I began, not wanting to leave without saying anything, but not really expecting a response anyway, "I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow."

And, like I had anticipated, no response. But what I hadn't anticipated was the firm grip of Rob's hand on my wrist.

Startled, I tried to leap back instinctively, but his grip was firm. Hair pooled over his face, covering his features from view. But as my body shook against his, trying to free myself from his grip, his body remained absolutely calm.

And I was suddenly flung through the air. Closing my eyes and bracing myself to hit hard floor, I was pleasantly surprised to land on the softness of Rob's bed.

Eyes fluttering open quickly, trying to gaze out through the darkness, I suddenly felt a weight press down on my body causing me to give a strange cry. And, suddenly, his eyes were looking at me again. The same eyes I had seen in the bar. Glowing, bright, and looking straight at me. And the thing I couldn't identify was back again.

Yet, once more, I didn't have a chance to ponder on it as my lips were suddenly met by Lucci's.

Soft, smooth, and almost unnatural, this feeling that I experienced seemed so _right_; like our lips were meant to be together. Eyes going wide with an unclear emotion, I began thinking to myself, "Is he … _kissing me?!_" And yes he was.

Prodding my mouth open with tongue, Rob lifted his hands far over my head and pressed our nether regions together, causing me to moan in surprise. And, as soon as it all had happened, it stopped.

Looking around wildly and breathing deeply, my eyes met uncertainly with Lucci's. And, silently, he seemed to purr, "You were jealous."

His voice was deep, rich, and seemed to flow through my whole body easily causing goose bumps where it traveled. And I looked up stunned. It had been such a long time since I had heard the man speak, and, even then, he didn't really say much. Well, I suppose it hadn't been _that_ long. In fact, I heard the man's voice every day. A version of it, at least. But hearing his true voice, instead of the one he used to talk through Hattori with, was simply amazing. My mouth hung open ever so slightly as a small smile crept its way onto Rob's lips.

In a way, I rather liked it.

Then he rolled away from me. Over to one side of the bed and shut his eyes. And, it seemed, within a matter of minutes, he was asleep. Me, on the other hand, well … I was now completely awake.

And I couldn't do more than stare at him. What was that all about?

**-xox-**

I reflected on leaving but wasn't sure if Rob had wanted to me to stay. Why would he? I've never stayed with him before. And I was seriously planning on leaving … if that damn bed hadn't been so comfortable. But I also got this feeling like I wasn't supposed to leave. And, well, whatever the reason, I stayed.

But, lying there, I began to think to myself about what Rob had said: "You were jealous."

Ludicrous. What possibly was there to be jealous about? That it hadn't been me in that position? That I wasn't the one pulling Rob's hair and causing him to look at me like he was? That I wasn't the one causing this seemingly stoic man to be so turned on?

Realizing where my current thought process was leaning, I ran my hands through my hair angrily and plopped my head roughly on the pillow.

Then, before I drifted off to sleep, I began to think, "Maybe I_ was_ jealous."

Definitely the alcohol talking.

**-xox-**

When I woke up the next morning, the sun was barely rising thus symbolizing to me that it was time to get ready for work. Turning over, I was at first shocked when I found myself in someone else's bed. And when I realized that it was Rob's and that he was no longer sleeping beside me, I got out of the bed frantically.

Running out into the kitchenette, I saw Lucci sitting on a chair, ready to go to work, drinking some coffee. He didn't acknowledge me directly, but I knew he knew I was there when he flicked his head over to the area of the bathroom. Taking the hint, I went to go get myself ready as well.

**-xox-**

He locked his door with a soft click and we began walking in silence to the docks.

It was so odd. I expected Lucci to be angry when he woke this morning only to find me sleeping in his bed next to him. Surprisingly, he must've remembered the night at least a little. Or I doubt I'd still be living.

As I contemplated my thoughts and ran the night over and over in my brain, I was alerted back to reality with a stern, "Kaku. You're falling behind."

Recognizing the unmistakable voice, I looked up quickly from the current sight of my feet to catch Rob looking straight at me, a tiny small gracing his features. And my heart skipped a beat.

Something was definitely happening to me. Something … I wasn't sure how to react to. Rob Lucci was stirring up something in me. And …

I was excited to find out what.

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

End of Chapter 1

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

A/N: I intent to make this story multi-chaptered, but as to how long it's going to be, time can only tell. I hope you enjoyed chapter one! Reviews are greatly appreciated, and thank you so much for reading!


	2. The Challenge

A/N: Well, it seems I've just been a writing fool lately. Not that that's a bad thing. Anyway, I want to thank everyone for all the support received in chapter one, and I hope chapter two will not disappoint. Enjoy!

_--- Told from Kaku's POV_

Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters all belong to Eiichiro Oda.

Rating: T (Will go up in the future)

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

Hold My Hand Harder

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

"Kaku. You're falling behind."

It was the last thing he said to me all the way to Dock 1. And while this was understandable, I felt a little alone then. I knew it was vital that Rob not speak, least let his cover slip and have to explain why he had been using Hattori as his ventriloquist puppet for so long. And even knowing this, I just wanted him to keep talking. It was so welcomed from the usual Rob Lucci silence.

But he didn't. Didn't say another word, didn't even give me a second glance as we walked along the sidewalks of Water 7. At this point, I would've been relieved to hear his voice through Hattori.

But that was just Lucci.

He kept such an air of professionalism about him, that even attempting to explain his character would be a waste of time. Not that people hadn't tried to understand him, but they had either ended up with a headache over the whole ordeal or simply avoided him lest their attention be brought back to something they just couldn't quite put their finger on.

Not that I could exactly claim to understand Lucci either, but I had a better idea of him than most people. Of course, lately, I was beginning to wonder if there was something that even I wasn't fully comprehending.

But I didn't have much time to dwell.

I don't know when we had arrived, but I was alerted back to a quick reality when I ran into something that I had determined at the time to be a wall. On closer inspection, however, I discovered that it had been Tilestone.

"Watch out, little buddy!" He laughed, holding me by my shoulders before I could stumble over.

"Uh, sorry, Tilestone," I apologized to him, smiling bashfully. I had never been so blissfully unaware in my entire life, I was sure of it. To think that I could be so caught up in my thoughts that I would walk right into a person. My co-worker, nonetheless.

I glanced around bashfully and it seemed like not too many people had noticed. Rob, as I could see, was looking at me with an air of perplexity, but merely shrugged his shoulders slightly and went about beginning his work for the day.

He didn't get very far.

Upon hearing the slight commotion, Paulie wandered out of the office and gave a bright smile. "Well, good morning there, sunshine's!"

I gave Paulie a smile in return and said, "Good morning, Paulie." He seemed far less drunk than he had last night. Even a hangover had seemed to escape him. Then again, that was probably _why_ Iceburg didn't mind letting his men go get smashed almost every night.

Lucci ignored Paulie, as he usually did, with Hattori doing the talking for him: "Morning, drunk!"

"Now, now," Paulie began, a slightly sour look crossing his features, "Who was the one who got so drunk last night that they …" But the conversation was lost as Paulie went into an immediately private whisper. I saw Rob flush a bit before Lulu came in direct line of my vision. "So, how was it getting Lucci back home?"

"He didn't put up a fight, did he?" Tilestone laughed once more, joining the conversation.

"No, it was all right. I got him home nice and safe."

"Well, that's good," Lulu commented, playing with his hair, "Hate to have found you guys wandering the streets of Water 7 all lost like."

"Haha, you don't have to worry about that," I replied, noticing that Paulie had gotten closer to Rob.

"Well, let's get to work men!" Tilestone's voice boomed, echoing around the entire dock. And while it was technically time to begin working, I was more interested in what Lucci and Paulie were talking about.

And, just when Lulu and Tilestone had moved just enough to where I could see him, I saw Paulie's hand give Rob's ass a nice, firm squeeze.

For some reason, I was furious.

"Let's get to work," Paulie beamed, commenting to both Lucci and myself.

**-xox-**

"I heard there was a mishap at the bar, Kaku."

Kalifa's voice was unmistakable. Considering she was really the only woman who worked on the premises, it wasn't hard to figure out who was disrupting me from my work.

However, not one to be rude, I greeted her with a passive, "Hello, Kalifa."

"Well, that's what Blueno said, anyhow."

"Don't worry about it. Nothing happened; Blueno's stretching the truth a bit." Hoping to leave it at that, I continued to hammer away on one particularly tricky piece of board. However, Kalifa was never one to give up so easily, so when her next question was asked, I really wasn't surprised.

"Really now? And why would Blueno lie to me?"

Setting the hammer down with a long drawn out sigh, I turned to her fully and answered, "I never said he lied, I just said he stretched the truth, is all."

"So, absolutely nothing happened?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Oh really? So when you guys go to have a drink, it's common for Paulie and Lucci to drink shots off of one another, drunk as can be?"

She had said it so bluntly, that I cringed. I was thankful though, at least, she didn't know about what had happened in the bathroom. "Well, seems he told you the whole story, then."

Pushing up her glasses, Kalifa continued to look at me, eyes searching for something. Of course, I wasn't about to be intimidated by her, and kept her gaze passively.

"There's more to it, isn't there?" she pressured, finally speaking after what had seemed like an eternity. But how could she know that? There was no way my posture or attitude could've let so much information slip. "When you came to work this morning," Kalifa continued, walking closer to me, "You seemed a bit off."

Ok, so maybe it was _kinda_ obvious.

"Kalifa," I sighed, not knowing exactly what to tell her. The woman was just going to keep prying until she got something anyway. "I'm just a little tired, is all."

Of course I told a little lie. And even though I could see her skeptical look blaring over the rims of her glasses, I choose not to elaborate any further. How was I suppose to explain what I had seen in the bathroom or how I had stayed the night at Rob's after he kissed me on his own bed. Because if I didn't know what to make of the whole situation, it was quite clear that anyone else was going to have a difficult time as well.

"Tired? Please, I can tell when you're tired and when something is truly on your mind. I'm not going to laugh or judge you, if that's what you think."

I wasn't sure if she was being entirely truthful with me. Not that I really had any reason not to trust her, but I didn't feel like feeling all this stuff with her at the same time. So, I was rather torn. But I supposed it wouldn't hurt to tell her a little.

"I saw … Paulie and Lucci in the bathroom last night at the bar. They were … um, in an _interesting_ predicament."

"Oh?" Kalifa made an intrigued sound and motioned for me to continue.

"And I walked in on them, ok?" I was starting to get extremely embarrassed and, consequently, quite flushed. And I gathered from the glint in her eyes and the way her body shifted that she could visibly see that on me.

"Them having sex?" she asked so calmly and clearly that I about choked on my own spit.

"What?"

"Well, were they?"

"No! No they were not!" I was so flustered by this time, that I was comfortably sure that the whole dock had heard my outburst by now.

Fuming, I looked at Kalifa disbelievingly. I don't know where she had got the nerve to say such a thing, but if the situation got any more uncomfortable, I was ready to march back to Enies Lobby and demand for some other CP9 member to take my place.

But Kalifa merely rolled her eyes and hushed, "Not so loud, Kaku. Really, don't get so worked up. Now tell me what else happened. And don't try to lie, I can clearly see how riled up you are."

She was right. She was _so_ right. And I just couldn't hold it in any longer. Why should I? What was Kalifa going to do with this "vital" information anyway? So, clearing my throat, I responded, "Rob kissed me last night."

Her eyes went wider than I had ever seen before. "Rob … _Lucci_?"

She questioned his name so severely that I wasn't sure if she believed me or not. But, as fast as her disbelief came, it vanished. "Are you sure you weren't too drunk and mistook this person for Lucci?"

"Why would I be making this up, Kalifa?" I was a little angry that she hadn't believed what I told her, but I continued, "When I dropped him off at his house last night, he kissed me. Though, he had been drunk that night, so it could've just been a moment of fleeting passion."

Her eyes were now looking past me, squinted in thought. It was as if this explanation had never crossed her mind, and now she was forced to put some pieces she had overlooked together.

As for me, I stood uncomfortably, hoping that she would figure something out and feel satisfied enough to leave and let me get back to work. Someone was bound to notice soon.

And with a final nod of her head, Kalifa said, "Well, this is quite a turn of events."

"I guess," I responded, wanting to hear more out of her than just one sentence, "But it was nothing, really."

"Because," she continued on like she hadn't heard me, "I had always thought Lucci and _Paulie_ had a thing."

At this, I faltered. She could not have just said what I think she said. And here I was, getting furious over nothing. If what she was saying was true, then that was fine and dandy for them. But something was off. How could I not have noticed this? It wasn't until last night that I had even realized that Rob and Paulie _had_ a sex drive. But I remembered back to what Blueno had told me. Something about Lucci always being extremely sexual. So then … had I been so blissfully unaware that I had missed something?

Kalifa had apparently seen my internal struggle surfacing, because she stepped back a little and asked, "Kaku, are you all right?"

"Paulie and Lucci are dating?" I asked, ignoring her question. Because, at the time, I was most certainly _not_ all right.

"Well, I don't anything is official," she began again, straightening her glasses, "But they are quite promiscuous out in the work place."

"The work place?" I asked so angrily that I threw my hat to the ground, "What are you saying? They have sex right in the open and, luckily, no one notices?" Kalifa was giving me too much information too fast. I didn't like where this conversation was going, and I certainly didn't want to find out what Kalifa potentially might know. But there was something in the back of my mind telling me to just keep asking.

And the real reason for my anger and disbelief, I tried to tell myself, was because of these uncertain feelings I had for Rob Lucci. Certainly the kiss had been nothing, but something about it made me just want … to have him all to myself. These kinds of thoughts were beginning to really scare me.

"Kaku, you must calm down," Kalifa informed me sternly, "You're losing your composure."

And I heard her words and understood what she meant. I was an agent of Cipher Pol 9; I was not supposed to get this emotional and riled up over a mere speculated rumor. And I felt a little ashamed of myself for acting the way I had. So, trying to calm myself, I agreed, "You're right. I apologize."

When she had deemed me placid enough, she continued, "No, having sex in a shipyard is ridiculous. They have done nothing of the sort. But it is not uncommon to see Paulie grope Lucci. Well, not uncommon for me at least. They're usually fast touches, but enough to get Lucci a bit angry. Enough to where he gives Paulie his full attention, which is what I think he wants." She paused at this, thinking, and then suggested, "It's rather like a game."

"A game?" I asked, trying to understand what was going on between my co-workers.

"Paulie incites the game, and Lucci reciprocates. Though I haven't seen many hidden touches courtesy of Lucci, I haven't seen him try to get away either. Of course, it is pure speculation as to whether they actually have a relationship or not."

Of course she made a good point, but I doubt that all those touches had meant anything less to the both of them than some sort of relationship status. But I had nothing else to say. I don't know what I could of. She had told me all this … so now, what was I suppose to do with it? I figured acting normal around them was going to be my best bet, but, for some reason, I was still aggravated.

"But then he kissed you last night, so …" Kalifa began again, much softer than before, "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's something going on between the two of you that I happened to overlook."

And I looked at her, angry and perplexed and mostly just confused, and asked, "You … think?"

"I don't know, Kaku," she said, gathering her clipboard filled with meeting times and scheduled appointments more firmly in her arms, "But Rob Lucci has never kissed me before."

And with that, Kalifa sauntered back over to Iceburg's office, leaving me to wonder many, many things.

"Oi …"

**-xox-**

I was pissed. Not just mad, not flustered, not peeved, or any other version of the word; I was just flat out pissed.

I thought, at first, that maybe the talk I had with Kalifa would just go away and I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Unfortunately, I was _not_ so lucky.

Thoughts of Lucci and Paulie together kept entering my mind. Thoughts of Paulie's hands exploring Rob's body. Slipping under his shirt and caressing his back and wandering to the front where he'd play with his nipples, smoothing, rubbing, eliciting moans from his mouth.

Rob's beautiful mouth. Lips parted to allow breath to escape, teeth clenching together from the roughness of Paulie's hands on his skin. Those lips used and raw from Paulie kissing him. And then there were those eyes. Fluttering closed, contracting when something felt just _so right_; the way they'd look at Paulie, demanding not to be teased, but enjoying every minute, every second of it.

And Lucci's own hands, running along Paulie's face to grab the blonde hair. Body achingly pressing back into the man, wanting more, but certainly not begging for it.

Imagining Paulie's mouth now take the place of his hand to explore Rob. Tongue grazing up and down, licking sensitive placees and making the man shudder and moan softly.

And as I imagined this, the imaginary Rob turned his head toward me and captured me with his eyes. Those eyes, so dangerous and causing me so much anxiety, held me in their embrace. Staring through me and into me all at the same time.

"_You were jealous."_

I was _not_ jealous! I couldn't be. It was utterly preposterous. And the more I told myself that, the more unlikely it sounded. And what was I really jealous of? That Paulie had been the one touching him and not me? The thought that I could never have something as beautiful as him, like he was elusive and beyond my reach? Or was he teasing me? Was he asking for me to take him, as Paulie had done?

This had to be joke. One huge elaborate joke on Kaku.

But then I realized … yes, I _did_ want it to be me! I wanted to be the one touching him, exploring him, making him moan _my_ name. I wanted to feel Rob's fingers scratching patterns along my back, lips capturing mine, body aching dangerously into mine, making me want him all the more.

So the word I had used in the bar: Sexy? It was completely correct. Even self consciously, I wanted Rob. So badly, that even my brain hadn't registered what my body already knew.

This was so maddening. I felt it unprofessional to even have a thought at wanting Lucci so badly, but I just couldn't stop myself. And if it was going to be this bad, then I needed to let Rob know. Even if he shunned me, ignored me, laughed at me, I knew that he needed to know.

If he was able to have such an effect on me and not even know, then I really _did_ have to tell him.

My only problem now was Paulie.

Truthfully, I loved the man like a brother. We had worked together and drank together. Hell, we'd even hung out together just for the Hell of it. But, when it came right down to it, he's the one that started all this in the first place.

I had to find him as well, and let him know how I felt. But if there really was something going on between him and Rob, then I just had to know.

Setting my hammer down clumsily, I leapt from my position and landed on the ground roughly.

Oh … I was _pissed_.

**-xox-**

It didn't take long to find Paulie. He was currently going over some plans with one of the lesser known workers of Dock 1. I made sure not to make a scene in front of this person, but, as soon as they left, I walked quickly over to Paulie lest anyone else try to get there first.

"Oh, hey Kaku! How's everything going?" he asked, cheerful and blissfully unaware of how mad I was.

"Everything's fine," I answered hastily, "Listen, Paulie …"

"Thanks again for covering for me and Lucci in the bar last night," he laughed, interrupting me probably unknowingly, "That would've been some hard stuff to explain."

"Indeed. Now, Paulie, I have to ask you something rather personal."

"Personal? I don't think this is really the place to be –"

"It's about last night. In the bar."

Paulie silenced himself immediately. By the look on his face and the way his body stiffened, I could tell he didn't want to delve into anything too seriously. But I held a gaze with him. And, if he tried to leave, I would stop him. I seriously started to believe that if I didn't get my questioned answered, that I would kill somebody. And, currently, the only person I could see was Paulie.

"Kaku," he said sternly under his breath, "This _really_ isn't the place."

"I need," I began, grabbing Paulie's shoulders, noticing that he was trying to get out of this complicated situation, "I need to know if there's something going on between you and Lucci."

His body froze immediately and his eyes widen immensely. Turning his head slowly, in disbelief, he hissed, "What?"

"Well, is there?"

And the man blushed more than I had ever seen before. So much so, that it seemed all the blood in his body ran up his face and neck. "It's … kinda complicated."

"So there _is_ something," I pressured, angry but keeping my calm.

"It's not a real relationship," Paulie continued angrily, pushing me behind some crates to get out of view, "All we do is … mess around with each other sometimes."

"So, you've had sex?"

"I …" Paulie stuttered, fists balling, "We … might've."

"You either did or you didn't," I replied, not liking his secretive attitude. And my anger only flared more. "Just tell me, Paulie."

"All right, so we had sex once. _Once_ ok?! But it's not a big deal!"

I was in shock. I had thought, truly, that all they had ever done was fool around. But then I realized I was kidding myself. Of course I knew that they probably had, but I didn't want to believe it.

Paulie, not enjoying the sudden silence, exclaimed, "It's not like that man is Mr. Chastity! He doesn't exactly make it easy to not _want_ to want him!"

"I know," I responded softly, realizing that Paulie was probably having just as much conflict about this as I was.

"So, what, Kaku?" Paulie asked, turning the answering to me, "Do you have some sort of thing for Lucci now?"

Now I saw why Paulie wanted to so adamantly avoid the question. It was a difficult one to admit. But I wanted to be truthful, and I desperately wanted to get my feelings out.

"Yes. Yes I do."

Paulie, it seemed, was just as shocked by my blunt truthfulness as I had been. Immediately reddening, I continued to surprise myself when I said, "And I plan to do something about it."

"What? What do you mean? What do you plan to do?" Paulie asked, hand reaching out to me, ready in case I tried to run.

"I'm going to tell Rob," I answered, my own voice eerily calm, even to me, "I'm going to let him know how I feel."

"You can't!" Paulie exclaimed, hand reaching out further to fist itself in my shirt, "You … just can't, Kaku!"

"Why?" I screamed, finally letting my anger do as it will, "You're certainly not as enamored as I am. Your thoughts aren't constantly being plagued with his image. And I just can't take it! If all he is is a _fuck_ to you, then I want something more with him!"

"He's not just a fuck," Paulie's teeth closed together roughly, causing him to drop the cigar, "But … no, just no, Kaku!"

"That's not a very convincing reason, Paulie."

"Well, all this would be for not if I tell him how I _really_ feel first!"

I looked at Paulie incredulously. He seriously thought that this was some kind of game. But it was one I didn't really want to play with him. "You know, if we both run up to him, screaming declarations and promises, then he'll ignore the both of us and then no one gets him."

Paulie seemed to be thinking seriously about this as he released me from his grip and used one free hand to stroke his chin. "Well, what do you purpose we do?"

"We really need to let him come to one of us," I answered, trying to calm down. It was surprising that no one had come looking for us yet.

"Fine, fine," Paulie agreed, nodding his head hastily, "But can we try and persuade him to pick one of us? I mean, like, say I _accidently_ kiss him or something. Is that against the rules?"

"There are no rules."

"Well, good," Paulie smiled, looking sickeningly satisfied.

"This isn't a game to me, Paulie," I sneered, not really liking that this much animosity had come between us so quickly, but not really caring at the particular moment.

"Same here," Paulie snorted, staring at me.

And it was then, though the glares and ragged breathing, that a shadow was cast over the both of us.

Glancing upwards, we were both graced with the site of one very pissed off Lucci.

"Ah, hey there, Lucci," Paulie laughed sheepishly, apparently thinking, as was I, how ridiculous we must looked crammed behind some boxes in the shipyard.

But the man kept his stern scowl and, through Hattori, demanded, "Get back to work, you slackers."

Laughing awkwardly, we kept our position until Rob had jumped from the crates to the opposite side of where we were currently.

And, giving one last shared glare, Paulie and I walked back into the open, each determined in our own right to try and settle this little matter.

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

End of Chapter 2

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

A/N: And on my birthday, a present for you! I sincerely hope you enjoyed reading, as I am having a blast writing. Reviews are always very much appreciated, and I hoped you enjoyed it!


	3. Confession

A/N: This whole updating for a week thing is getting to me. Oi, I never should have said anything, haha! Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading chapter three!

_--- Told from Kaku's POV_

Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters all belong to Eiichiro Oda.

Rating: T (Will go up in the future)

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

Hold My Hand Harder

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

If Rob was able to give silent treatment, it would have been showing clearly at the moment. But the man was always giving a strange version of it, so perhaps that wasn't the best way to know that he was pissed off. No, I think the best indicator of his bad mood was the way he glared at Paulie and myself whenever we crossed paths, or the way he pounded nails angrily into the wooden boards and planks, splintering a few and receiving a slight verbal warning from Iceburg to which he ignored plainly.

Also, he was doing a terrific job of avoiding the both of us which included either not acknowledging us when we asked him about something, or taking an odd route to get to his destination. But that would have required passing one or both of us, and I assumed he didn't want to "accidently" smash a hammer through our skulls if we were to look at him wrong or say something that would throw him completely over the edge.

Truthfully, I was grateful for that. I sure as hell didn't want to get on Lucci's bad side. But … well, I think it was already too late for that.

When Rob had cast a shadow over Paulie and me, crouching behind boxes and discussing the best way to claim Rob's affection, I came to the conclusion that he must've heard us. Or at least a tiny, vital part of it which may have came out horribly wrong. What am I saying? We shouldn't have been talking about him like that to begin with. Not only was it rude, but we were treating him like an object; just a thing. Something that we could win if we played our cards right. Not even taking Lucci's feelings into consideration, we acted as if he was a stupid play thing. And stupid he most certainly was not.

In all actuality, I knew that Lucci was exceptional at gathering information. In CP9, we all were. Besides being trained in combat, we also had to be taught the proper way to gather information while not seeming too suspicious or nosy. Thus, learning the proper way to listen and pick up important information from a whisper was not beyond our capabilities. Yet, it seemed I had forgotten all about that in the heat of the moment … which was extremely careless of me.

Thinking about it, I was so ashamed. Rob had every right to be mad at me. And that glare, the one I had seen reflected in his enemy's eyes so many times, the one that symbolized death and stoicism, the kind of stare that could make someone's heart stop, had been directed at me.

It was so different from the look he gave me in Blueno's bar; and it was especially different from the look he gave me in his bedroom last night. His eyes, so hard to read due to lack of expressive emotion, held something important that night. Like he was telling me something without the use of his mouth.

But it wasn't something I could read.

Rob Lucci, for as long as I have known him, is an enigma. A soul of mystery that just begs to be unraveled. But he never lets anyone in close enough to help them understand. Not that I particularly think he wants to. Again, I was hit by a sad realization. It was as if Lucci was trying to say, "I don't want your help, or your love. Your admiration, pity, condolences, praise … they mean nothing to me. Leave me alone; let me enjoy my solitude."

There was something else, though. Something else that flashes through his eyes or body language. Like there's a part of him that longs for something new, something of purpose and belonging. Or maybe, quite possibly, he does want someone to care about him; to look after him and love him.

But like I said, the man is a mystery. I can recall the first time I met him: Quiet, dark, and emotionless. His attitude affected me in a way even I couldn't have predicted. The first time his eyes bore into mine, I felt frightened. Like, if I ever did something to bother him, he would kill me. It wasn't like the look I had received from the other members of Cipher Pol 9. Kalifa and Kumadori had been welcoming enough. Jyabura kinda snorted at me, but it didn't seem like he had a particular grudge or animosity towards me though. And even Fukurou and Blueno were nice for the most part. But when Lucci's voice first addressed me, eyes set in an emotionless glare, staring, it shook through my whole body, and I remember falling absolutely silent.

I had even begun to see him in my dreams at night, on the occasion. He would never say anything, just stare at me, but his eyes would flash an emotion, the rest of his body completely still, and he would mouth out words that I couldn't hear. For some reason, I'd always wake up from those dreams covered in a cold sweat, body shaking.

But when we were assigned to this mission, the one we had been working on for years now, my fear for Lucci slowly began to diminish. His stare was something I got used to, and, now, I wasn't even afraid to tease him a bit moreover chat with him. Though, admittedly, the man wasn't much of a chatter box.

The dream, however, never went away. It didn't scare me awake like it used to, but when I woke up the next morning, remembering that I had that dream, I'd try to figure out what it meant. Try as I might, I could never figure out those words that Rob was whispering to me. I'd always wonder why he was so quiet, like I wasn't supposed to understand. But it bothered me. Why was I continually having this dream if it didn't mean anything?

I came back to reality as fast as I had drifted into my derailing train of thought. Clutching a hammer in my right hand, nail held at the ready in my left, I felt foolish. I really wanted to know how long I'd been sitting this way, contemplating Rob Lucci and wondering if he really _was_ going to kill me, but I thought that asking someone would just be even more awkward, so I decided that getting back to work would be my best bet.

"_Get back to work, you slackers."_

It didn't seem malicious in the slightest. But … I suppose it would be hard to determine that based off of Lucci's Hattori impression. And then my thoughts began to drift back to trying to figure out if Rob really _had_ heard mine and Paulie's conversation.

"That must be it," I whispered quietly to myself, thinking that there was no other possible explanation. I was just going to have to think of a way of explaining what we had been talking about without him wandering off on me or, the horrible alternative, having a fist smash me cleanly to the dust covered ground.

As I contemplated on the best way to go about it, there was the sudden horrid sound of nicely staked wooden planks falling to the ground followed by the clinking of hammers and nails against and around the bucket they had spilt from. Gritting my teeth, and seriously not wanting to see what had happened, I turned my head to see Paulie sitting on the ground, holding his head. Wood planks scattered around and on him, squinting his eyes in pain.

And, standing above him, was Rob. Fist held out so tightly that I could see the whites of his knuckles shining.

"What the hell, Lucci?" Paulie coughed, standing up and brushing as much debris from his body as he could, "You got some kinda –"

Paulie's question was cut short as Rob gave him another solid blow to the face, knocking him back to the ground and drawing a rather large crowd from the other workers. Tilestone, Lulu, and myself included.

A small trickle of blood ran from the corner of Paulie's mouth, cigar seemingly forgotten off to the side. Giving the blood a quick swipe with his thumb, Paulie's voice cracked a little before he scoffed, "Ah, don't be such a bastard."

Lucci lowered his fist back to his side. His top hat did a good job of concealing the glare that was aimed at Paulie, but I could see the absolute rage in them. His eyes were wide, pupils contracting with the occasional flicker of light that reached his corneas. Hattori wasn't perched on his shoulder. Instead, he had chosen to fly overhead and perch on the mast of an incomplete ship. I rather envied him, at the moment. It seemed so safe up there.

I watched as Paulie stood back up and grabbed Rob by his suspenders, pulling him close to his face, so that their eyes were lined up.

"Cut it out, guys," Lulu demanded, successfully being ignored by his two fellow foremen.

"What's gotten into them?" Tilestone asked, addressing no one in particular.

I merely stood in awe as I watched Paulie and Lucci glare daggers at each other. I just hoped that Paulie wouldn't say anything foolish enough to piss Rob off more than he already was. But my hope was short lived when Paulie opened his mouth to say, "Fuckin' prick."

I would have thought that Paulie would have learned by now, after the last few time he was punched to the ground, that he should just keep his big mouth shut. While Paulie fought with verbal insults, Rob did the same physically.

But Rob, I noticed, didn't back down this time.

Slamming Paulie's shoulder into the ground with incredible speed, Lucci lifted his fist up once again. I could see the look of death he promised in his eyes, and I was actually scared that he was going to kill Paulie. Whatever he had done, it couldn't have been _that_ bad. And though I kept hoping that what I was seeing was not happening, it was. And as Rob's fist tightened, and Paulie's eyes widen, and the screams of the other workers seemed to blare out around me, I knew that Lucci meant to kill him. He was _that_ angry.

Grabbing Rob's fist with my hand, I whispered a quick, "Calm down," to him before the situation grew anymore dire.

I was satisfied, at first, that Rob seemed calmer. His fist loosened in my grip, and I smiled a little in relief. His eyes went from deranged and murderous, to complacent and confused. But as soon as that emotion flashed through him, it seemed his brain had caught up as well. And that's when I realized that I was one of the people he was mad at, currently.

And when that murderous look resurfaced, and the snarl on Lucci's face became feral, I knew pretty much what was coming next.

I was immediately sent into a daze when Rob's fist connected with my cheek. Stars flashed in front of my eyes for what seemed like an eternity. But I remember hearing a very pained, "Oof!" beneath me as I figure I must've fell backwards on Paulie after the hit.

Head spinning, I gained my vision well enough to focus on the feet of the numerous workers who had gathered to see the commotion and witness two of their best foremen get soundly defeated.

A pair of hands pushed me roughly to the side, causing me to spin around angrily and push right back at whoever had the nerve to do such a thing. When I realized it was Paulie, mouth turned down in an obvious frown, I was glad to see that my push had connected. But when the shadow of a man swept over us, belonging to none other to Rob Lucci, both Paulie and I froze.

Again he stared at us with murderous intent. And again I felt scared that this was going to end with one or more of us in the hospital. I knew I was strong; ridiculously so. But I could never imagine the day when I could top Lucci. And, suddenly, I was really wishing to be back at Enies Lobby, taking on some frivolous little mission that might have actually required me to spend some time with Jyabura.

But I wasn't so lucky, and I started to reflect back on all the good times before my life came to a quick end.

Fortunately, Lucci had stormed off by this point, leaving behind a lot of terrified and utterly bewildered faces.

"What was that all about?" Tilestone demanded, voice booming and ultimately breaking up the silence that had settled. "What did you do to him?"

"Ah … I couldn't imagine," I replied, wincing at the pain that shot through my cheek as Lulu helped me up from the dirt and dust.

"All I did was try to touch his ass," Paulie remarked, receiving incredulous looks from everyone, including myself.

"What?!"

**-xox-**

After Paulie and I had been properly treated for minor cuts and bruises, it was lunch time.

Somehow or another, Paulie and I had ended up sitting next to each other. At first, there was an eerie silence that neither of us knew how to break. And even when Paulie asked for some mustard for his sandwich, that did nothing to help clear the air.

Of course, what were we to say to each other? It was as if we were rivals in some kind of strange game. A game where what was at the end was one very cranky Rob Lucci.

And just as I thought that this lunch was going to end just as awkwardly as it started, Paulie spoke up with a gruff, "It never mattered when I did that before."

"Huh?" I replied, admittedly in a bit of a daze. I had been thinking about the appropriate way to clear the air with Lucci, but I wasn't coming to any conclusions that ended with me still living. "What didn't matter?"

"When I grabbed his ass, dummy," Paulie barked, obviously frustrated that he had been so ultimately defeated in the shipyard, "I just can't figure out why this time was so different."

To me, it was obvious: Rob had heard our conversation and wasn't especially happy to be fought over like some kind of trophy. But … maybe Paulie was a bit dumber than I thought. Offering my two cents, I related to him what my theory was.

"You know," I began, the sound of my voice alerting Paulie to face me, "we were talking about him like he was some kind of prize to be won. Perhaps _that's_ why he's so angry."

"Nah, that can't be it," Paulie responded, stroking his chin, "We were whispering way too quiet for anyone to hear us."

"Really?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm, skepticism written all over my face, "Because I really though the screaming back and forth at the end was so super discrete."

"Hmm," he responded, ignoring my sarcasm fully, "I guess. But still … you'd think he'd be honored. Two guys goin' after him."

"Maybe he's not all that interested." I surprised even myself with this comment. If I didn't think he was interested, then why was I fighting for him at all? Oh yeah, because I was falling madly head over heels for him … right.

But it got me thinking back to what I had been pondering earlier. Maybe Lucci really wants to be left alone. It just seemed so unfair to him, though. Even if it was his choice, no one is born into this world to be alone. No one should have to suffer the unfixable pain of never having someone in your life that truly, deeply cares for you.

I think even Paulie must've realized this, because his silence seemed to be echoing my own thoughts. Obviously, we both cared a lot for Rob. And knowing that was hard. Hard because I knew that one, or both, of us could really get seriously hurt by this. Even more so than what his punches had done. I wanted him; wanted him so badly that it hurt. Seeing him, even when angry, made my heart flip around in my chest.

Never ever before had I felt so foolishly enamored. I say foolish because I doubt that the feeling's mutual. But, nevertheless, I had to try.

"But I still gotta try, Kaku," Paulie's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I stared at him disbelievingly after hearing what he had said. We had more in common than I thought.

"You're right, Paulie," I answered, giving him a small smile, "Guess we just can't get over him."

"Right," Paulie agreed, chuckling to himself, "You know ... I kinda have another guess as to why he's so mad."

"Oh yeah?" I was a bit curious to hear whatever Paulie had thought of. Hopefully, it wouldn't be so farfetched that I'd have to smack him for even thinking such a thing. Still, when he opened his mouth and related to me his theory, it still seemed highly improbable.

"Maybe he was jealous 'cause he thought you and me had a thing. You know, like, maybe he thought that _we_ liked each other."

I returned Paulie's comical seriousness with my own disbelief. "You can't be serious," I sighed, rubbing my head and taking a drink from my water bottle.

"And why the hell _couldn't_ it be the reason?" Paulie raged, voice going from an acceptable tone to monstrously loud in a few seconds.

"Shh!" I immediately chided him, trying to ignore the many looks from the curious workers eating their lunches as well, "You don't have to shout."

"Sorry." Paulie immediately calmed down, a deep red blush of embarrassment covering his cheeks, "But why couldn't that be the case?"

I thought about what Paulie was saying. And no matter how much I tried to apply it to Rob's personality, it just didn't fit. The man wasn't a naturally jealous person. He had his strength and his strong will; he never cared where he stood in a line and was never envious of others, either by their looks or other trifling detail. And the thought was even stranger when trying to apply it to Rob actually believing and being jealous that Paulie and I could be in some kind of relationship.

Relationships, people, business … these things meant nothing to Lucci. Or so I convinced myself. For some reason, I was thinking of all the negative elements of this man who I so desperately sought after. Maybe I really _did_ need to start thinking of this like Paulie was.

Like, for instance, that he really was jealous. What if Lucci received the wrong impression and thought that Paulie and I were really planning on dating each other. Perhaps Rob even held some sort of feelings for one of us.

Or … maybe, if Paulie and I were involved, it would mean less time with him. Less time joking with Rob or chatting with him on break, involving him and enjoying his company.

It seemed almost too unreal to think of, but maybe Lucci really was scared of this bizarre scenario. The thought that he could be insecure, trying to reach out to someone, but not letting anyone in, it was weird.

But I didn't know if I was right, of course. How could I? The man wouldn't let people in! I hated flip flopping like this, torn between understanding Rob and _thinking_ I understood him. I could debate over it again and again, but that doesn't mean I knew what I was talking about. I had to know; I simply _had_ to.

How could one man be so damn complicated?!

Finally answering Paulie, sighing deeply, I said, "I don't know, Paulie. Maybe you're right."

He smiled at this. Nodding his head happily as he received my approval.

"But say he is," I continued, not wanting to let Paulie get too cocky, "How would we prove that?"

"Ah, don't you worry," he smiled, rubbing his hands together. "I've got a plan."

"Oh no …"

**-xox-**

His plan was so brutishly simple I really didn't know what to think of it at first. It shouldn't work, it couldn't work, it would _never_ work, but … I suppose it was worth a shot.

Paulie had concocted the idea that, if Lucci saw us fighting, he would know that we didn't have any feelings for one another. I questioned this; a plan so idiotic would never work on Rob. But the more Paulie persuaded, the more I gave in. So we try it. What's the worst that could happen? We fail? Rob already beat us up once today, I doubt a second time would make much of a difference.

The plan was supposed to take place anytime we were together and Lucci wasn't that far away. Of course, after the way today was going, it was never going to happen. And especially after the fight, I doubt Rob wanted to come anywhere close to either one of us. But Paulie was positive about his plan, so I tried to keep myself in high spirits.

Finally, after hours of close calls and sneak aways, Paulie decided that it was our duty to approach Rob on our own and put the plan into action. In all honesty, I thought that this idea sucked majorly. But I couldn't honestly think of a better plan, so I reasoned that Paulie's was really the only possibility left.

"Ok, on my count, we're gonna start fighting," Paulie began. I once again found myself lodged behind some crates with Paulie. Why he dragged me here to discuss the plan when we could have easily done it in the open, I'll never know.

"Fine, whatever, let's just get this over with."

"All right, all right," Paulie responded quickly, peaking around the crates, "Let's go."

"Kaku, Kaku, you got it all wrong," Paulie began, trying to make it look like we had been having a conversation, "I just don't feel that way, all right?"

"Oh, what, and you expect me to believe that?" I had no idea where this was going. At all. This had to be the vaguest most none complex argument I had ever been a part of.

" Well, no. Actually, it seems we both got strong feelings for him."

Rob _had_ to know that we were talking about him. It was bluntly obvious, and Rob was not stupid. However, I was feeling incredibly stupid at the moment. "I can see that, Paulie. But he's not just some prize that we can win, you know."

"I know that, idiot!"

"I don't really think you do!"

"Say that to my face, asshole!"

The last few things we screamed at each other seemed less than fake. Obviously, the conversation we had earlier about neither one of us thinking this was a game came back with a vengeance. I again found myself furious at Paulie for treating this like some damn competition.

"Cut it out, Paulie. I'm not in the mood."

This set the plan into motion, although a bit unplanned. Paulie immediately grabbed my tracksuit and pulled me dangerously close to him, "Don't try to be mister high and mighty, Kaku," he hissed, his face leering.

"I wouldn't have to be if you considered the fact that Rob has feelings over your own."

"Oh, big talk from a man who's in the same position as me."

Words failed me as I kicked Paulie in the side, causing him to gasp in pain. But it wasn't much of a victory as his fist collided with my stomach, doubling me over in my hesitance. The fight grew rougher quickly. However, unlike the last fight that broke out, this time Tilestone and Lulu were quick to act and immediately put our fighting on hold.

"What is wrong with everybody today?" Lulu demanded, holding a struggling Paulie back.

And it was then, as I was, too, struggling in Tilestone's arms, that I realized: How was this going to prove anything? How was this showing Lucci anything different than from before? It wasn't, and I felt extremely foolish.

Looking over to my right, I saw Kalifa, shaking her head in frustration, wondering, most likely, what the hell was wrong with me. But then I looked to me left; and I saw him. Lucci's back was to the crowd, but it was definitely him. I knew I had to make this right, and catching Rob alone was the best way to do it.

Wrenching myself from Tilestone's arms, I ran through the crowd of workers. Pushing anyone in my way, my focus was currently fixed on Rob. I needed to talk to him. There was no more doubt or stupid ideas, I needed to let him know how I felt and get it over with.

The surprised and worried voices of Dock 1 faded behind me into a whisper as I continued down the way Lucci had went. However, when I came to a dead end and couldn't see him in sight, I was worried I might've accidently taken a wrong turn somewhere. Again, I wasn't nearly so lucky.

Of course Rob knew I had been following him. But getting caught off guard just made me feel stupid. And when his hands grabbed harshly into my shoulders, squeezing the muscle and skin beneath his fingers and shoving me roughly into a wall, my back and head knocking loudly against the side of the Galley-La building, his eyes flashing a dangerous shade of green, eyebrows drawn into an angry scowl and mouth drawn in a line, I knew I was in trouble.

"Kaku," his voice was deep, but seemed to drip poison as it almost physically hurt to hear my name said so venomously, "Why are you following me?"

"B-because," I began, my voice a little shaky from the swiftness of his assault, "I wanted to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about. Now leave me."

"I won't." My voice seemed powerful, even to me. And when Rob looked at me, eyes slightly wide and maliciousness gone, I knew I finally had my chance, "I won't. I need to tell you something."

His grip loosened on my shoulders, allowing the blood to flow freely through them once more. Slumping down from the way, I steadied myself and began, "What Paulie and I said … we … we didn't mean to …"

"I am not something you can fight over," Rob interrupted, confirming my suspicions that he had heard us, "I can never and will never belong to anyone." Anger was returning to his tone, but I kept going. It was the best time I would ever get; just the two of us with no interruptions.

"No one wants to own you, Rob," I spoke his name casually, causing him to stiffen a little, "Especially not me. Believe it or not, I have developed some real feelings for you. Feelings that I can't ignore or pretend don't exist. And it's you. You bring this feeling out in me. I'm not sure how, and I don't even know that you are aware of it yourself, but I'm drawn to you."

"You're wrong." He spoke so straight forward, that I almost believed him. Almost. "There is nothing I spark in you. There's not something hidden beneath my surface that demands anything from you other than performing this mission correctly. So … do not pretend to be drawn to me. It can't bring you anything good."

He began to walk away. And I let him. How was I supposed to respond to something like that? This man was breaking my heart. And not just with his words, but the way he seemed to not even love himself. Like, truly, no one could ever care for him.

"You're right," I began, my last ditch effort before he walked too far away for my voice to matter any longer, "I was jealous. I didn't enjoy watching you and Paulie in Blueno's bar. I wanted that to be _me_ holding and caressing you. I wanted to be the one making you look so completely satisfied. I wanted for you to want me the same way I wanted you. And then you kissed me. That kiss, the one little kiss, made my heart stop. And I realized, lying beside you in the bed, that I could get used to something like that; that I wouldn't mind waking up every morning next to someone so beautiful."

As my speech continued, I made my way closer and closer to Rob. He simply stood there, eyes wide and full of another emotion I wasn't quite sure of.

"And your eyes," I continued, mine shining directly into his, "I love looking into those eyes. They hold every emotion that you're capable of, Rob Lucci." As I said this, he squeezed his eyes shut, shifting around so that his hair covered his face.

I grabbed his arms and pulled him close to me, feeling his body shake harder under my fingers. And lifting one hand up, I cupped his chin lightly and lifted his face to look at me. He opened his eyes slightly, just enough to where he could look at me. And when I looked into those eyes, so beautiful and sad, he remarked quietly, "Please ... Kaku …"

I had no idea what he was trying to say, but I couldn't hold myself back any longer to try and find out what. I pressed my lips onto his gently, taking in everything and pulling his body as close to mine as it would go.

At first, he pushed his arms out, trying to shove me away. But I just kept holding him. Holding him so close that I could feel his heart beating in his chest; so close that our kiss was deepened because of it.

He began to struggle less and less, when, finally, he embraced me as well. Arms sliding fluidly around my back, he tilted his head so that I could access his mouth better. Holding onto the back of his head, I gladly accepted his invitation, because, immediately, I parted his lips with my tongue, determined to taste him more fully. And, standing there, just the two of us, I realized something: This was what I had been after. This, right here, was what I had wanted; for Rob to feel for me just as I felt for him. This was absolutely perfect.

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

End of Chapter 3

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

A/N: Aw, I'm so happy with this chapter. Truly, even though I hurt from writing it in one sitting, it was so worth it. And there's still more to come. Yay! I enjoy Lucci's eyes immensely. Also, I like to think that he shows most of his expressiveness through his eyes, so that's why they're constantly mentioned. Thank you for reading and reviews are always appreciated. I hope you enjoyed it!


	4. Absolutely Beautiful

A/N: You can't write this kinda stuff at school! What's wrong with me?! Oi … has it seriously been a month since I last updated? Where does the time go? Anyway, please enjoy chapter 4! It now deserves an M rating.

_--- Told from Kaku's POV_

Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters all belong to Eiichiro Oda.

Rating: M

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

Hold My Hand Harder

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

I don't know how long we were standing there in each other's arms, lips locked in a furiously powerful kiss that immediately shed any doubt about what I had said being the wrong thing. No, telling Rob exactly how I felt was definitely the way to go.

And when we separated from the first of many kisses, tongues parting slowly as our bodies instinctively knew that we didn't want to be even an inch apart, he looked at me. _Right_ at me. The look from the bar, the look that I had wondered what it meant, was back. This time, though, I was pretty sure I knew what it meant. It was the look of wanting. And not of a selfish want; not a needy, frivolous, annoying want that so many children give their parents when they see a toy that they "must" have. It was the kind of want that expresses love and the need to be loved.

Maybe my reaction in the bar the other night had caused Lucci to doubt himself. Perhaps he had been trying to let me know that I could be his, that he was willing to give himself to me. That, or he was just involved in an incredibly high level of sexual arousal and that was just his "look."

… But why ruin a good moment with thinking about something like that?

I ran my fingers though his hair as his eyes searched me over. Rob was never one to use words just for the sake of talking, so I knew he was trying to find exactly the right words to say. Usually, though, it never took this long.

"Rob, you don't have to say anything," I whispered, running my lips over his.

At this, he pushed away. I didn't try to force him back to me, because I didn't want to be too pushy too soon, but it would be incorrect of me to say that I wasn't slightly worried that I had done something wrong.

Furrowing my brows, I looked at him, but dared not speak. Lucci, face totally stoic, looked at me and grabbed my hands with his, "Come with me."

"Babe, I'll follow you anywhere." It was out of me before I knew what I was saying, but it seemed so natural. And even though Rob looked at me with a curious look in his eyes, eyebrows cocked in a way that suggested he thought the nickname was a strange thing to hear come from my lips, he pulled me out of Dock 1 and through the streets of  
Water 7, back to his home where I had first realized that I loved this man.

I guess it was okay to leave work without a word this _one _time.

**-xox-**

Lucci locked his door hastily, hands seemingly fumbling with the lock. He seemed kind of nervous to me … that, or terribly excited. And I had a good guess as to what he could be so excited about. I, on the other hand, was sickeningly nervous.

I loved Rob, it was true. And I was happy to finally have those feelings returned in full. But …

I wasn't really prepared for _this_.

We both wanted it. Hell, it was what I had been day dreaming about all day! To feel Rob, touch, squeeze, hold caress, fondle, and all sorts of other words that involved my hands touching his body. To say that my body ached for his against mine would be an understatement. That being said, I had never had sex before. I felt sheepish at this; to think, I was this old and had really never kissed anyone. It was both embarrassing and infuriating because, while I was sure Lucci probably realized this, I wanted to be perfect for him. Like … I was sure Paulie had been.

I suddenly felt hands on my face. Startled, I leapt back instinctively, the wall keeping me upright. Breathing deeply, my mind was quick to alert me that I was in Rob's house and, really, the only person whose hands those could've belonged to _was_ Rob.

"Kaku," Lucci began, putting his hands back down to his sides, "You don't have to be so nervous."

Was it that obvious?

Feeling my heart begin to steady in rhythm, eyes come back into focus, I realized that I probably did look like I was absolutely terrified to be here. And I'm sure the sweaty palms, dry mouth, and stuttering didn't help much either.

"Nervous?" I began, chuckling bashfully, "Wh-who said I w-w-was nervous?"

"Stop."

The order was so stern and sudden that I swear it bounced and echoed off of every wall. The room, including the world outside, seemed to go into complete silence. Swallowing slowly, I looked at Lucci, waiting for him to continue, trying to regain my composure in the process.

"Don't lie to me, Kaku," he added, taking a step toward me, "I can tell that you're nervous, and it's all right. I'll guide you."

And guide me he did. Right onto the bed, pulling me over him.

I swallowed again roughly, finally starting to become angry with myself for acting like such a wimp. I had taken on much harder challenges in my life. Sex couldn't be _that_ hard to figure out. Still, even after giving myself a mental pep-talk, I just couldn't stop feeling uneasy.

But then Rob kissed me. A sweet, sensual kiss that, admittedly, threw me off guard. Looking down, I was taken aback. This man was so beautiful. The way his hair fell around his face and above his head, laying softly and smoothing out the flawlessness of his face, how his chest rose and fell in steady patterns causing a small amount of air to be expelled by those delicious lips. His body, no longer tense beneath me, almost calling to me, and the way his mouth parted in a slight smile, showing the happiness in the eyes that I had, for so long, saw to hold only stoicism.

I couldn't ask for anything more perfect.

And when I leant down to him, arms wrapping around his body and pulling him close, noticing that I no longer felt confused or shy, I knew that this was going to work out. Everything was going to be ok.

God, what a fucking beautiful man.

Our lips seemed to melt together, tongues battling for dominance. And Rob pulled up, pushing us further together and making the kiss all the sweeter.

I felt Rob's arms wrap even more securely around my body, keeping a tight grip on me. He moaned deeply into my mouth, shaking my entire body so hard that I had to release him for some air.

Saliva dripped down from his lips, running so daintily down his face. And I felt something new in myself start to surface. An undeniable urge to claim this man for my own. And, without a moment's hesitation, I reattached myself to his mouth, sucking lightly on his lips and tongue.

Lucci moaned again, but even louder this time. Arching his body into mine, I felt a jolt as our clothed erections rubbed roughly against each other. We both moaned, eyes squeezed shut from the sudden sensation.

But I was loving this. All of this. The moans I had longed to hear for, the ones that were so wonderfully erotic, were now being caused by me, by my own doing. I felt a sense of pride and utter love. But … I want to hear _more._

Attaching myself to Rob's neck, I began to suck gingerly in many places until I found the spot that caused him to moan the greatest and, then, concentrated my efforts there. Running my hands from along his back, I made my way to his stomach, feeling the muscles and toned skin contract under my touch. Removing my mouth from his neck with a wet pop, I grabbed his shirt and lifted it easily over his head and tossed it, forgotten, to the floor.

Not hesitating, I immediately latched myself to his nipples, pert and ready and oh so appealing. Squeezing and pulling with my hand while my mouth did a number on the other, I felt Lucci arch his back once more, causing our erections to rub together once again. One hand in my hair while the other gripped his bed sheets, Rob gave a lengthy moan before hissing a breathless, "Oh God, Kaku … !"

Taking this as a really good sign, I ran my tongue from his nipple down to his stomach where I traced the muscles there. Lucci continued to thrash against me, cursing and moaning and obviously enjoying himself, as was I.

Running my hands briskly down his smooth body, I stopped immediately when I came to the clothed erection that seemed to taunt me. I knew what was to be done next, I certainly wasn't stupid. Thing was … I had never done this before. And I looked Lucci, cheeks flushing and eyes squeezed together, well … he was counting on me, damn it! I couldn't just leave him like this! And I knew he was there to help me if I needed it, but I wanted to do this on my own; I just wanted to impress him.

And there was no second guessing it; I knew what I had to do. It couldn't be any different than sucking on a popsicle or a lollipop, right?

I pulled his pants down as far as was needed. Then, I pulled the boxers down in the same way. Immediately, I was stunned. Was this man just perfect everywhere? I'm sure he was.

Breathing heavily on Rob's length, I felt his whole body shake under my fingers, watching as his head tilted back and his hands grasped the sheets tighter. Running my tongue along the shaft, I received much the same response, but with vigor.

"Ka-Kaku …," was the one word that was able to escape Lucci's lips. And I wasn't quite sure if it was a demand or a plea, but I didn't want to make him wait any longer, and I began to slide my mouth along his penis, sucking, nibbling, doing everything I could to please my man.

And it was working.

It wasn't a moan this time, no; it was a scream. A scream so sudden that I immediately felt it racing through Rob, racing through me. Encouraging. I continued to suck harder and harder, tasting him. However, I was not prepared for the sudden buck of his hips upward into my mouth, causing his erection to slam painfully in the back of my throat.

Coughing, I pulled my mouth off quite fast, leaving a trail of saliva behind. Swallowing roughly, I looked at Lucci with watery eyes. _That_ was certainly a surprise I didn't account for.

"I-I'm sorry," Rob tried to speak clearly, "Hold them down, Kaku."

Hold them down? With my mind as fuzzy as it was, I tried desperately to comprehend what in the blazes he was talking about. Looking around, confused, I heard Rob sigh, "My hips."

… Well, duh. It all made sense when he said it so plainly.

My response to him was a curt nod, as I reattached myself to his needy member, continuing from where I left off. Almost as fast as I had begun my ministrations, Lucci bucked his hips up wantingly once more. Keeping a tight hold on him, I successfully prevented him from achieving that goal and was able to continue to suck him off much more easily.

Groaning quietly, Rob continued to push his hips into my hands. Rubbing against them harshly. I think he was enjoying it as much as my mouth on his cock. But, as much as he liked it, I didn't want to hurt him either. Rubbing his hips gently with the palms of my hands, I soothed the skin so as not to leave red marks behind when we were through.

But then Lucci lurched up so suddenly that I had no choice but to slam his body roughly to the bed, causing me to suck harshly on him. And that seemed to be it, as the next thing I heard were the sounds of Lucci moaning desperately. And his seed spilled out so quickly, that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to spit it out or swallow it. Doing the first thing that came to mind, I swallowed it. Well, as much as I could, anyway.

Releasing Rob from my mouth, the rest of his cum spilled lightly over the bed and his stomach. All in all, I found it rather kinky. I certainly was enjoying myself.

His breath came out in desperate spurts. His face had a very noticeable flush that spread across his cheeks and made him look utterly adorable. But then I became acutely aware of those eyes. The same ones that had shown me such anger earlier, they now held the unmistakable look of lust. I just loved it. This time, it was me. I was causing him to be so satisfied.

Lifting himself from the sheets, his hair landing gracefully around his shoulders, Lucci wasted no time in removing my clothes, as well as the half undone pants that were still clinging to his feet, as he pushed me down on the bed. It was a wonderful experience, our skin touching like this for the first time. I began to feel my heart beat faster and faster, eventually drumming so loud in my ears, that it was hard to comprehend anything.

However, Lucci said nothing as he slipped down my body fluidly, coming to rest his face just above my hard on like I had done. Flicking his tongue out, I was surprised at the intensity of feelings that rushed through my very soul. Moaning softly, I squeezed my eyes shut as Lucci continued to lick up and down, along every nook and cranny of my manhood. Cracking an eye open, I saw him looking at me. Right at me. And our eyes locked.

But I couldn't get over this feeling. It was so wonderful. And watching Lucci suck my cock just about sent me over the edge. When I tried to thrust into his mouth as my body instinctively needed to, Rob held me down with such a force that I thought my hips were going to break.

Pulling his mouth away slowly, I saw him replace my penis for his fingers. Sucking on them, swirling his tongue around them, I was interested as to why he stopped this in order to start that.

But I wasn't too angry considering what he _did_ with those fingers.

Slipping them down his own body, Rob inserted one finger into his anus, followed by another, and then another. Each time, he moaned more deeply, ultimately squeezing his eyes shut and grasping the sheets so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"Rob, I," I began, not knowing what to say, but feeling it necessary to say something.

"You'll see," was all he said in my response to the question that had never been asked. But … I trusted Rob to know what he was doing.

But when he laid me back against the bed and positioned himself over me, I had a good idea what he had been preparing for.

And then he lowered himself down … I thought I was going to cum at that very instant.

Our voices were synchronized. I tilted my head down as Rob repeated almost the exact same motion by tilting his head back. I was, truly, overwhelmed by this; all of this. My cock was squeezed so tight by Lucci's entrance, that it almost hurt. But the way his fingers dug into my shoulders, his body leaning over mine, it was very much worth it.

And no matter how much pain I felt like I was in, it seemed like Rob was in a lot worse. His pupils contracted as he seemed to look through me into nothingness. Mouth drawn open, a deep growl rumbled deep inside his chest as his fingers continue to dig into my skin, causing it to go white around his finger tips. Tears welled up in his eyes almost instantly as he continued to position himself lower on my arousal.

The lower he went down, the tighter he became. And the feeling of his body surrounding me, all around me … it was like nothing I have ever felt before. Stars danced through my vision as Rob gave a large push downward, filling me almost completely.

I pried my eyes open as best I could and saw Rob, breathing more deeply than he had been earlier, straddling me, legs wide open, and looking absolutely stunning. Eyes closing slowly, Rob gave a small grunt before he lifted himself in the air quickly before slamming back down into me.

This sensation was even more painful and wonderful than the first. This feeling was something I could never describe: It hurt, it felt good, I wanted more, I wanted less, I wanted everything he had to give me, and I felt like, maybe, this wasn't enough. And his panting, the way his voice erupted out of his throat with every thrust down on my cock, impaling himself further without hesitation, it was ecstasy.

And I fully intended to embrace it.

Moving my hips up in time with his thrust down, the scream that immediately followed from my dear Lucci could not have been more exhilarating. It began a feverish battle to see who could make the other more satisfied. Rob's erection was back in full force as I took no time in grabbing it with just enough force to halt his movements, if only for a second. Stroking him, I was pleased as the rate of his thrusting down on me increased.

Now it was all a matter of who could last the longest. Sadly, I didn't think it was going to be me. Looking at that perfect body ride me so expertly, listening to all the sounds that were reserved for private affairs and knowing that I was causing them, seeing the ultimate look of pleasure plastered across Rob's face, it was all too much.

Without thinking, I flipped Lucci onto his back and started thrusting into him. A look of shock was seen clearly across Rob's features. But when I pushed myself deeper and deeper into him, better from this angle than the one we were in before, he adjusted quickly.

Running his nails along my back, I wasn't sure how much longer I was going to be able to do this. Our sweat covered bodies rocked maliciously against each other, creating a delicious friction that made both of us shout with each thrust. Lucci's eyes looked to the wall, tears now steaming freely from his face. I bent down and kissed as many as I could from his face before ultimately connecting with his lips.

He squeezed his eyes shut as I lifted our hands above his head and deepened the kiss. Parting our lips ever so slightly, Lucci looked at me, eyes shining and displaying the truest form of love and lust, and whispered, "Oh … Kaku …"

"Lucci …"

I felt his cock bob against my stomach one more time before it erupted explosively, coating the both of us. I continued to the thrust for as long as I could before I, too, came quite abruptly, spilling my seed deep within Rob.

Tired, I rested my forehead against his, feeling the heat emit from his body and his breathe on my face. Weakly, I kissed his forehead and smiled down at him. Rob, just as tired as I was or more, looked up at me and returned the smile.

A genuinely happy smile.

**-xox-**

It was odd just laying with Rob in his bed after it was all over. After I had rolled off of him, I pulled him close to my body, wanting and needing to be around him, now more than ever. And to my pleasant surprise, he let me pull him just as close as I wanted. I could've blamed it on fatigue, but now, in the quite room, I was left with ample time for thinking.

Lucci was never one to be controlled. No, in fact, I believed that he was most comfortable knowing that he held far more power over anyone who he came in contact with. But this was only normal considering how strong the man was.

Petting his hair softly, I began to realize the extremity of the whole situation. Not that it was dire in any way, quite the contrary. But … did Lucci actually let me be in control?

I dismissed the thought as soon as it had come, but what if I was right? What if Rob had actually surrendered all of his power to me, let all his guards down, enough to where he trusted me enough to actually not hurt him? Had he really trusted his whole body to me? It was so improbable that I laughed at the thought. There was just no way.

"What are you laughing at?"

My thinking stopped suddenly. Oh … I had no idea Lucci was awake.

"Uh, nothing," I lied, knowing that he was probably going to see right through that little lie.

"Nothing, huh?" And I could just tell by the tone of his voice that he had already caught on. And while he turned to better look at me, looking a little worn out, I realized that I would never be able to hide anything in this relationship. Not that I planned on hiding anything, but this would make any surprise quite lackluster.

"When I say nothing, I mean it's not really all that important," I informed him, resting my arms behind my head as he leaned on one arm, holding his head up to give me yet another skeptical glare. "I swear!"

"It's not important enough that you can't even tell me?"

"You'd laugh at me."

"I won't."

There was never any joking around with Lucci. His face was very stern, and I knew he wasn't going to drop this anytime soon. And I believed that he wouldn't laugh, so … what could be the harm in sharing my feelings with him?

"Well … you let me … control you, right?"

Rob's eyes reflected the light from the outside as he glared at me, mouth held in a tight line. I wasn't sure if what I said came out right, but the silence was starting to unnerve me.

"I-I, mean … not control, I suppose that's not the right –"

"No, it's true. I did let you control me. Why are you laughing about that?"

"I'm not laughing at _that_ per say, I'm just laughing because it seems so odd."

Okay, what did I do to piss him off? I didn't understand. But whatever I had done had really angered him. Before I could register what was going on or find the right words to say, Lucci was pinning my arms over my head roughly, squeezing my wrists tightly. His eyes glowed a dangerous green as he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Lucci, what's wrong?" I'm sure my voice was shaking a little, but I couldn't help it. I really felt a gigantic sense of fear from the whole situation. And as he squeezed tighter, nails threatening to break the skin, I barely heard his voice say, "I don't trust myself, Kaku."

I stopped trying to resist him and looked at him, wondering. He didn't trust himself? With what?

"I don't trust myself," Rob continued, releasing the tight grip on my wrists and bringing his hands to his face, "to not hurt you."

His body was shaking against mine as he huddled into a ball, arms wrapping around his legs and his hair concealing his face from view. But I didn't know what to say or do. Sitting there, naked, Lucci seemed so small. His exterior, the tough one he shows everyone, was cracking. It was good to see some real emotion out of him, though, and I smiled a little. However, that he was scared of hurting me … that was a problem.

"Lucci," I began, sitting up, "You're … I know you won't hurt me."

"How do you know?" He shot up so fast I barely had time to react. Grabbing his fists with my hands, our arms shaking against each other, eyes locked in fear and malicious and all sorts of other emotions. "How do you know I won't hurt you?! I hurt _everybody_!"

He succeeded in pushing me back down, the bed creaking under the strain of two bodies struggling against it. As he spoke, tears welled up in his eyes again, running down his face and onto mine as his face was contorted in a mixture of rage and despair.

"That's why … I can't …" He wasn't making any sense. At all. This side of Rob Lucci was something I guessed had been bottled up for a long, long time. It hurt me. It hurt me to think how sad Lucci had felt all these years. It was like he hadn't developed past a child stage. An angry child who received no love, and grew up in a world where emotions were seen as a weakness. A child who didn't know how to give love, and, thus, never received any in return.

A child that grew up too fast … and didn't even know himself. That was the person I was seeing in Rob Lucci right now.

Not thinking that what I was about to say was going to help even a little, I knew it was better than standing idly by and letting him continue to think that no one cared or understood him. "Rob … you never hurt me."

His eyes softened immediately. A whimper was clearly heard coming from his mouth as he bit down on his lip hard.

"You never hurt me," I repeated, holding his face in my hands and whipping stray tears away with my thumb, "And you never will. I love you, Rob. And if I truly didn't believe that you did too, I wouldn't be here right now."

He continued to look at me, all anger gone from his eyes. Now, he held his hands over mine, lips bleeding from the force of his bite. And I continued, wanting to let him know that I understood what he was going through.

"Our lives are hard. But that's the way it is. We chose it, and now we have to live it. And … I don't know how hard your life must've been for you to be holding all these feelings away like that, but," I lifted his face close to mine, making sure to get his attention, "I'm always going to be here for you. I'll be there to hold your hand when you think that no one else will. And it's not something required or expected of me; it's what I want. Really, more than anything."

For once, it seemed as though I had reduced mister Lucci to being completely at a loss for words. He grabbed my hands tighter, intertwining our fingers and rested his head on my chest. His hair danced around my skin, tickling me, as it came to a halt and settled once more. Then, I heard the unmistakable sound of laughter.

A low chuckle, but it was definitely a laugh.

Laying on his back and pulling me with him, Rob looked at me, eyes sparkling, and sighed, "Damn it. You're just too good, Kaku."

"I know. That's why you love me so much."

"Tch, you only wish it were true."

He was definitely going to take some figuring out. His personality was so sporadic and different, that it intrigued me immensely. But that's what drew me to him. Yes, he was absolutely gorgeous, but there was something about him. About how all his actions seemed so fluid, almost cat like. His level of intelligence that never ceased to amaze. The wonderment that _was_ Rob Lucci. I'd never have that change.

Laughter stopping, I looked down at Lucci longingly. And when he looked at me, his face tired but showing the faintest glimmer of happiness, I lowered my lips to his like so many other times today.

Parting, just for an instant, I heard a faint, "Thank you, Kaku," as our kiss became more passionate and our bodies intertwined once more.

**-xox-**

The return to work the next day had been anything but pleasant.

When we got there, Hattori immediately dove down on Lucci to give him a swift peck to the head. Not blowing his cover, Rob merely took the blow and gave the poor bird an apologetic look.

Not realizing it in our moment of passion, it had seemed that we had forgotten to retrieve Hattori. And as bad as I felt for leaving him, I'm sure he would not have enjoyed the alternative situation he could've been in had he gone with us.

"Damn! Where the hell did you guys go?!"

Paulie was storming up through the ship yard, cigar clutched angrily in his teeth as he shifted it around back and forth, fuming. "We had to run the whole damn shipyard without you!"

"A-haha, sorry, Paulie," I replied, rubbing the back of my head, "We, uh, got a little side tracked."

"For the whole fucking day?"

"These things happen."

Paulie continued to fume, looking at both Rob and I with less than happy expressions. "These things, huh?"

"Guys! Where did you go yesterday? We looked all around the shipyard for ya!" It was Tilestone. And he was being followed by a very confused Lulu.

"They had some "things" to do," Paulie replied before I could get the chance to answer myself.

"What kinds of things?" Lulu asked, but my answer was interrupted by Paulie again who grunted, "Oh, you know, _things_."

And it seemed as though everything was relatively the same as we had left it: Paulie still just an angry blonde, always shouting, Tilestone and Lulu clueless to just about every little thing that happened between Rob, Paulie, and myself, and Rob back to being completely silent.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

Looking towards Lucci, who regarded the whole situation with practiced stoicism, never breaking his frown, not even for a second, I smiled wider. He was so good at what he did. Truly, he is the strongest man I'll ever know. And now that I've seen all of his raw emotions and fears, I think that statement rings even truer. The man isn't just some killing machine, devoid of all life and emotion. No … this man, this wonderful man, has a heart. And he can cry just like the rest of us. That's all I could ever hope for.

The chatting stopped there as Paulie rushed us all to our work stations, not wanting to get behind more than we already were. Watching Lucci make his way to his post, I couldn't help but smile goofily after him. All the fighting and stupidity of yesterday was gone. And this was true. Now, it was just me and Rob. And to think I was so nervous!

Beginning to head in the direction I was supposed to be, I felt a sharp tug on my shoulders directing me backwards.

About to get in another verbal fight with Paulie, I was surprised to see his hand reaching out to me. Staring from his face to his hand and back again, I said the first thing that came to my mind: "Huh?"

"Congratulations, Kaku."

I continued to stare at him. I wasn't sure what it was, but I could feel this leading my into some huge trap. Cautiously, I pondered, "Congratulations?"

"Congratulations on winning his heart, dumbass!"

Taken aback, I stared at Paulie in shock. He was being a rather good sport about all this. And though I still got the feeling that he was treating this like a competition, I took his hand and replied, "Thanks, Paulie."

It was an awkward moment, standing there, hands clasped, wondering who was going to say or do something first. And I could see the sadness start to overtake Paulie's eyes. It was a look of defeat; a look I really didn't want to see coming from him.

"Paulie, I –"

"Just treat him right, ok?" Paulie said, face perfectly serious.

"You know I will."

"I know. I know you will, Kaku."

Giving one last firm shake of his fist, Paulie gave me an approving nod as he turned from me and immediately started barking out orders: "Lucci! Get goin', bastard! We can't wait around all day for your sore ass!"

The laugh that escaped me was almost too much. I was surprised at the volume at it myself, but I felt a ton lighter. Like some kind of weight I didn't know was there had been removed completely.

But then my laughter faded.

The mission. It was something that had always been on my mind but had seemed to fade in the last few days. Underneath this cover, we were still agents on a mission. And that mission was drawing dangerously fast to a close. Pulling my hat down on my head, I went off to my work station, wondering how much longer we were going to pretend to be something that we weren't.

**-xox-**

"Excuse me!!!"

I looked over quickly, considering I had never heard this voice before. And seeing a young boy climbing over the fencing around Dock 1 only further raised my suspicions. Stopping the boy quickly with my finger, I proceeded to tell him that we should chat outside, considering that he was not from around here, nor did he belong in the docks of his own accord.

There were three of them: the young man who had tried to enter over the fence wearing a straw hat, a girl with bright orange hair wearing something that I knew Paulie would not enjoy, and another young man who had a nose quite similar to mine.

"What are you here for?"

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

End of Chapter 4

**-xoxoxoxoxoxoxox-**

A/N: …… *dies* Oi! That was fun, huh?! Now we're getting into the main story plot. I like making Lucci seem like he has emotion, ok? The guy can cry if he wants to. Thank you so much for reading! I apologize for the incredibly long wait again. Reviews are always appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed it!!


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